Home Is Where My Sacred Space Is … 10 Steps For Creating Yours.
Dear reader, My name is Rai and I am a full-time woman. I am also a full-time sister, full-time friend, full-time student, full-time business owner, and most importantly, a full-time participant in this thing called life!
That’s a lot, friends. But, I’ve found my flow.
I contribute this abundant flow to my honoring my creative peaks. When I started studying my cycles of creativity and productivity back in 2017, and I discovered that much like fine wine, I get better with dedicated time to rest. So, every year, I spend a few months in solace to get my ish together during the summer. When I flow in accordance to this cycle, it never fails me and sure enough, every Autumn, I emerge again ready to lift off. Thank the heavens I’ve designed a lifestyle that allow me this liberty.
Why is this important you might ask? Well, when it comes to our creativity, health, and wealth, downtime is necessary for the restoration of creativity. If you're anything like myself, then you probably have numerous obligations to deal with each day. These obligations can sap our vitality and at the end of the day, we need a place where we can go and recharge our batteries. Even technology crashes sometimes. On Monday, October 4, 2021, we saw Facebook and Instagram crash consequently shutting down thousands of social-media-based businesses and leaving the world in a mini-panic.
That is why when my working day is done, I like to head to an area where I know no one will bother me and I can have all the peace that I need. The necessity of CHILL is REAL for me and the easiest way to stay on top of it is by creating my very own sacred space.
[Sacred space] is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first, you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.” -Joseph Campbell
Without a sacred space to rest our bodies, our minds become weary as well. When we experience mental fatigue and things can spiral out of control quickly. This harms every other facet of our existence. Take, for instance, mental health. According to the ADA, women are twice as likely to have an anxiety disorder as men. Mental Health issues have spiked in the last decade and this means a decline in our emotional, psychological and social well-being which affects how we think, feel, and act.
If there was ever a time for a sacred space, it is now. A sacred space serves as our sanctuary and the concept of a sanctuary has never been more important than it is today. In a world where we are now expected to be accessible on a 24-hour basis, I find it very relaxing to head home, turn my phone to silent, leave the laptop closed and the television off.
We all face difficult circumstances in life, whether you are a student who is working towards a career or you are someone who has already established themselves in their chosen field. Unless you have a sacred space to go home to at the end of each day, these circumstances can start to eat away at you and dampen your creative spirit.
While some of us fall into the trap of believing that spending time in front of the television and on our smartphones is a form of relaxation, the reality is that we need time away from our devices too. They place an even greater demand on our senses and once it is time for bed, our ability to wind down and achieve restful sleep is compromised.
I can attest to the importance of spending time in a part of our home where we can remain quiet and still. This is how I do some of my very best thinking and if I did not take the time to contemplate decisions before I made them, my life would be in a much different place than it is today.
Instead of waiting for a work retreat or a special occasion to gather your thoughts, we can create a sacred space to perform this important function daily. After all, no one is going to do it for you. I spent several years wondering why no one in my life seemed to care about my mental well-being before I came to a crucial realization: I was the one who had to make the necessary strides, not the rest of the world. Can we retreat from the world every time circumstances get hard? No, but we can make things easier on ourselves by creating our own time to do so every day. We all need to take time out to emotionally center ourselves since the world is certainly not going to stop doing it for us.
Don't let my words of advice fool you, I’ve had my moments of burn-out just like anyone else and these moments can lead me to believe that I am all alone in the world. However, instead of allowing these emotions to overwhelm me and make me despondent, I embrace the fact that I am alone and use it to my advantage.
Spending time alone in a sacred space is how I learned about myself and it gave me a chance to discover my true strengths and weaknesses. Those who do not create a sacred space for themselves are often left wondering how things went so wrong, especially when their minds start to work against them.
Health, wealth, and creativity come from a place of mental stability and if you are the type who has allowed themselves to believe that they need to burn the candle at both ends to be successful or that they are "the type of person who functions better under pressure", I implore you to alter this damaging thought process before it serves to keep you from your true potential.
Maybe you are like I was in the beginning and you aren’t sure about which step to take first in strengthening your mind, but you’re open to learning. If so, maybe one of these ten tips will help you begin.
Become Educated: Take the time to understand how mental health can affect you. Be sure to consider that some mental disorders are tied to our genetics. If you don’t know that someone in your family you might night recognize the symptoms.
Practice Active Gratitude: When we are good to others, we feel good. Simple as that. Take the time to be kind to those in your life and always express gratitude. No matter how small it might seem. If you struggle in this area, you may find that reassessing relationships that hinder your ability to be a loving and vulnerable individual is in order.
Meditate- Meditation-which come in many variations-has long been acknowledged as a tool to master the mind and cope with stress. Studies show it can also reduce depression and anxiety, and help people manage chronic pain. You don’t have to be a master of mediation to begin. Download an app like “Calm” or “Simple Habit.” Both are awesome tools that you can use to set reminders and take 5 minutes out of your day to just focus on breathing.
Get a journal - Writing out some of our thoughts helps us to drop off the “stuff” that takes up space in our minds. Journaling is an excellent tool to declutter the mind and it’s an intimate experience that puts you more in tune with your personal needs and desires.
Create a support system - Despite the hype, you don’t have to do everything on your own. Yes, you are responsible for deciding to be the best you but, that doesn't mean you shouldn't phone a friend to share what’s going on in your life and seek counsel.
Learn to say no - This one is big. Being a “yes” person does not make you a more valuable person. Oftentimes, without established boundaries in place, we are taken for granted or even worse taken advantage of in our professional and personal relationships. No is one of the most powerful words you can use even when silencing the inner critic that tells you are anything less than amazing. If you aren’t sure you need to say no, pay attention to the next time you tense up when in conversation or you feel stressed when being asked to do a favor. Our emotions do an excellent job of teaching us what we can and should not partake in. That is if we listen.
Eat more greens -Increasing our intake of fruits and vegetables, limiting processed foods that come from bags and boxes, and cooking meals from scratch can greatly improve your mind. These few simple dietary changes may boost cognitive function and reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.
Get More Sleep - Adequate sleep is a key part of a healthy lifestyle, and can benefit your heart, weight, mind, and more. Try sleeping on a schedule for maximum benefits.
Do a Digi-Detox - Repeat after me, “I do exist without technology.” Try turning off the phone, computer, television, and any other gadgets for at least thirty minutes a day. Although we have become conditioned to adapt to the technological age, we are ultra-sensitive to the electromagnetic frequencies that
Ask for Help -Seek Therapy - When I first saw a therapist, I was at the end of a toxic and abusive relationship. I was angry and afraid and I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t until sharing an evening with my cousins, one of which was going through a divorce that I learned that seeing a therapist might be the key to releasing some of that depression. Mental health tends to be a taboo subject in the Afro-American community and I was a bit afraid of what others might say once they knew. I was fortunate enough to find a reputable and culturally conscious psychologist by the name of John Sykes. Our brief time together helped me to talk out some longstanding issues surrounding neglect and fear of abandonment so that I could be a happier and more loving person to myself and more accepting of others. Most insurance today covers therapy with a licensed social worker psychologist so don’t count it out if you think you cannot afford it.
This year has proved the value of taking a moment or two (or even three) to withdraw from the world every day to be by myself has been a major boon to my personal development. I choose to remind myself to chill out and smell the flowers. To opt out of the rat race and reject the belief that being busy is better. I’ll be slow and steady, till I'm good and ready. F**k a race. I set the damn pace.
I urge you to find a sacred space, your place of solace, and when you do, don’t you ever forget it.
Rai
